Route 66

This story is fiction, but certain historical facts are correct to make this seem like it really happened.  In the future I will not play a personal role as a character in any fiction, having learned from this experience.  I am no longer 19 years of age and so do not necessarily think the same way as I did here.   I know you will be saying that I should have a blue ‘62 Corvette, but this is my 'dream' and as such I can have the car I want and so am going with a white ‘57 T-Bird:

The day was March 7, 1969.  Grandma had so graciously given me her dream car since she could no longer drive, and since I was of age, she wanted me to get a good start in life and have a vehicle to get around in. I love you Grandma because what more could a young lad want when you have just recently graduated from high school. Before settling in for university, a trip was in order and there was no better month than March if you know the Midwest States at all.

After a week on the road, I am driving along in my T-Bird convertible, glancing off to see the clumps of sage brush on a glorious beautiful warm day just outside of Gallup, New Mexico, with the sun nicely heating up the landscape. I do like these early summer days and feeling the dry heat blow on my face, and I have my American tan well established by now, despite being Canadian. Although I was on my own, this was to change as I am to pick up my buddy Les in Albuquerque so we can continue our journey and see the sights, experience life, taking the odd casual labor job along the way to give us the cash, and to continue to live for the moment.

The road never deteriorates as it does not get the frost we have up north, is well marked, and has a place to go with lots to see due to the changes in terrain along the way. I have the time to get there, but sure could use a lunch and fill up. Of course, there is just a place up ahead with a service station and a diner. Mama’s Route 66 Diner with her picture showing an attractive figure, well tanned skin, white smile, white cap on her head...  hmmm, looks good. 

There is nothing but red desert sand as I drive off the tarmac to pull up to the restaurant. Red dust on my white convertible is not the best, but hopefully the wind does not pick up. I pull up in line with other cars and being young, lean, and nimble, I hop out of the car without opening the door. As I trek to the entrance, I notice other vehicles there and so figured this was a good sign as the place must be popular. I open the shiny glass and chrome doors of the Diner and behind the bar, I see what must be Mama with a cigarette drooping off to the side with smoke coming from her nose, then clouds of smoke coming from both sides of her mouth, like a steam locomotive. She was heavier set and looked rather tough, with leathery skin and wrinkles to show off her bad habit, complete with a raspy voice. I must say the picture of her outside must have been taken a few years ago as she looks different now! 

She greets me cordially and warmly like any mother would do. She detects I must be a laid-back country boy on the move, a Canadian accent at that, perhaps a little shy, and God knows I am naïve. She sits me down in a booth which is good so that I can keep an eye on my special car to make sure it is safe. I feel comfortable having a table with two bench seats to myself. Mama then cleans off the leftover crumbs and juice, places a cool glass of water, calcium streaked utensils on top of a flimsy paper-thin napkin that immediately picks up any leftover dish water from her well used and sloppy wash rag. More like a piece of leftover rug I thought, but the table top is clean.

“Here you go, my Dear,” says Mama handing me a well soiled menu. “Could I get you a drink to start with?”

I already know what I wanted as I could see what others were having and the billboard sign gave me the right thought to start with.

“Just give me a large strawberry shake, double burger with fries, and grilled onions, please”.

She knew I was hungry with that quick response, and being naturally lean allows me to eat whatever, whenever, free from having anything green with the meal that my own mother would insist.  It did not take long to get that milk shake as the other customers were well settled into their meals and engrossed in conversation and so Mama was able to give me her undivided attention. I had a second look for any sign of ash in the creamy milk topping, but it looked miraculously perfect. Taking a sip proved the drink to be soothing to my taste buds and tummy, most refreshing.Thank you, Mama, all is good. I completely relaxed in my seat, glad to get a break from driving, and knowing a meal was coming, enjoying the stability and peace I was experiencing in my homey booth.

Across the aisle sitting on a bar stool was a cute young petite girl in a flowery moo-moo dress sipping on a straw to get at that cola in her glass, and with a headband and flower pinned into her long brown wavy hair just staring me down. Then I saw a slinky multi colored cat jump onto her lap from a long way down and she immediately picked it up to place on the counter.

“None of that my sweetie, please take the cat off the counter,” bellowed Mama and so she just hugged the cat in her lap, then continued her stare of me.    

I saw the music juke box a few aisles away and immediately thought some music would add further pleasure to my situation. I could see the mini slot machine tucked underneath the sill where you put in your nickel for the song of your choice. 

You can easily flip the pages to find your song…well, I think I am in the mood for some rather mellow music, like "Oh Donna". I grab a nickel from my pant pocket, put in my coin and reference number and sat back to listen (Ritchie Valens – Donna):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKUycdloFPg

With some sedate music playing I chose to speak to the young one cheerfully and show some interest in her.

“Well, hello there! I don’t think you are Donna as you are too young."

“No, my name is Madonna, and this is my cat Billy!"

“Madonna, really? Interesting, I am at Mama’s Diner, I play the song ‘Donna’ and your name is Madonna!”

I thought that was a little funny? Sort of?  But I got no reaction from her. She looked like she had a hippie connection of some sort, being so carefree and relaxed talking to others and must have quickly concluded that I was of no harm, or maybe it was the little Canadian flag showing on my golf shirt. 

I was not expecting to have a cat placed on my lap so quickly after my greeting but this was rather instantaneous and the cat immediately dug his claws in deep.  I was lost for words but she chose me to have a chat with and Mama could see her action and seemed alright by it. I quickly concluded she was her grandchild and her mother must be out. Petting the cat turned him into a purring machine and allowed for the claws to recede; meanwhile Madonna grabbed her drink from the counter and sat across from me, whether I wanted her to, or not. She certainly was showing her assertiveness. She then took a big stick of bubble gum from her little purse to chew on. Time for a chat, I suppose.

“Where did you get your cat?"

“I was at a music festival with my Mom and this lady came up to me and said her house cat just had a litter and she handed me Billy, who needed to have a home.” 

Then peering out the window she asked, rather excitedly, “Wow! Is that your car?”

“Yeah, my grandmother let me have it when I turned 18 and graduated from high school. Kind of fortunate, eh. Maybe your grandmother will give you her car when you are older."

“Grandma does not have a car. She has a truck so she can carry lots of groceries.”

She seems to know a lot for a little person. Now it was her turn to ask, “Why are you playing such old music for? Why don’t you play something more modern, like from this year?”

Madonna took it upon herself to flip through the list of songs to come up with one more suitable for her taste.

“Here’s one. I really like this song!”

The song certainly was more alive and upbeat, and so, yeah maybe I need to get with it, and so I pull out another nickel to play it next (Tommy James & The Shondells - Mony, Mony):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkMgs3lFwkQ

I am enjoying the company with this young lady, who was not much more than half my age! But she seemed to have some maturity about her and knew how to perhaps manipulate me a bit. The cat chose to take off, using my lap as a springboard to launch from.

“So, Madonna, is this where you live or what?"

“No, we are from Michigan, but on the move, just came by since there was a music festival happening in Red Rock Park just down the road from here, and also my Grandma owns this Diner."

“So, where is your mother?"

“She is sleeping. I think she had too many drugs last night and is needing some time. Grandma does not want her to take drugs."

“Have you taken any?” 

Madonna shakes her head, “Nah, not into that. I am still too young anyways.  My Mom wanted me to try once but I really want to be a singer and I do not want to lose my focus. When at a festival I spend my time practicing. I also like to dance and I do want to be an actress some day. Are you from Canada?”

I noticed a sparkly cross attached to a chain around her neck, partly hidden by her dress and was perhaps in place to protect her from the evils of the world. Mama comes by with my meal…oooh, this looks good! I take a bite of the burger and could tell it was done just right in a bed of grease, and Madonna remains there studying me waiting for my answer and chomping on her gum.

“Yeah, around Brooks, er actually Calgary now."

“Calgary? Where on earth is that?"

“Straight north from here. When you get into the snow, you are there."

“Where are you going?"

“Albuquerque, to pick up my buddy Les."

“Hey, maybe you can take my Mom and I as we are going there next! Oh wait, you only have a two-seater and so that’s not going to work.”

“So, shouldn’t you be in school or something?"

“Nah, not for now as my Mom wanted to take some time off after Dad left. We plan to take the summer off until we take in a big festival happening in Woodstock in August."

“Woodstock?”

I thought Madonna’s mouth was going to drop from her jaw after my response.

“Hello! Are you serious? You have not heard about this? It is supposed to be the biggest and best ever music festival with so many bands coming in! There is supposed to be half a million people coming!"

“A half a million? Wow, news to me! Groovy! Sorry I will miss it.”

As I take my next few bites, Madonna just continues to sit across from me upright, studying every move I make. It is as if she is mesmerized by me. She must be interested in boys already, or wants a bigger brother, or is missing her Dad  She sure likes her bubble gum and I noticed quite quickly when I was eating, she had a routine going where she would chew, chew, chew, chew, then blow, blow, blow, and pop! Now this is fine, but she was continuously doing this across from me and after a minute or two it was starting to bug me big time and I really did not want any splatter from her in my food.

“Will you knock if off! I am trying to eat my meal still and you keep popping your bubble gum!”

Hearing that, Madonna ripped the gum out of her mouth and placed the slimy pink gooey blob onto the counter. Fortunately, she placed it on my water-soaked napkin and pulled it off to the side of the table so I would not have to look at it! She then went to get another dry napkin for me to use if needed, which was nice of her. At least she wants to be friendly and is adjusting her routine so that she can get along with me. Billy the cat came back and jumped on my lap as I was taking a bite and his tail was tickling my chin. I like cats but this was perhaps a bit too much and I was about to push it away, but Billy kept going this time and walked off my lap to curl up in the bench seat next to the window.

The table height for Madonna was perfect to place her elbow on it, her hand on her cheek so she could keep studying me while I ate, having a half smile on her face. Things became quite peaceful next as she stayed still with the cat sleeping. I poured ketchup on my fries and continued eating. I think I am starting to know what it is like to have a little sister! I was less anxious now to get to Albuquerque as I had her, the cat, and some food, and so what more could I possibly need? I had my own family for the moment and so everything was good as I was not alone anymore.

Madonna finds a nickel from the counter that someone must have left, she flips through the song selections and comes up with her favorite and perhaps best exemplifies her current state, being independent and free to do what she wants (Steppenwolf – Born To Be Wild):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egMWlD3fLJ8

Madonna immediately gets up, spins around with her arms and legs flying in dance to the tune, which was all fine for she was in a mood of celebration to the music. What I did notice during the song, however was that I heard this rumbling noise of tailpipes outside, and as the song progressed the noise got louder. I originally thought it was background sound from the record but then concluded it was too much for this to be possible. When the song finished, Madonna stopped dancing, looked out the window, and had a concerned look on her face. I noticed the whole Diner was no longer alive with conversation, as everyone else had stopped talking, and the place became as still as glass. It was as if the rumbling sound was shaking the building.

Looking outside I could see some big, snarly motorbikes pulling up, complete with rugged, dusty, tough looking dudes in their black leather vests, bandanas around their head, tattooed arms, chains hanging from their jeans, tattoos and metal on their body, a skull and crossed bones with eagle wings on their backs…oh, oh. Only eleven of them I suppose, but it only takes one to cause a problem. Sure enough, they chose to park their bikes in the empty spot right next to my T-Bird! 

The biggest dude, the gang leader was almost finished smoking a joint, and when he got off his bike, he could not help but stop and observe the beauty of the T-Bird. What he did next got my adrenaline flowing as he chose to flip the butt of his joint into my car! But that was not all  He then decided to undo the zipper in his pants, pull out his tool, and start to urinate all over my car seat! Normally at peace with this world, I was both angry and upset and panicking over the state of my Grandma’s car.  I quickly got up to go outside, but Madonna grabbed my arm and hung on for dear life.

“No! Are you crazy? Don’t go out there, or you will get hurt, really bad!”

I did not know what to do quite frankly for nothing like this has happened to me before. Fortunately, the seats were covered with leather and so the urine would not soak in much. Once his job was done, the gang made their way to the Diner entrance. Madonna pushed me back in my seat, with her doing the same and she whispered, “I know what to do to get even! Now don’t look surprised when they come in, and pretend you don’t know anything! Just relax!”

I was getting instructions from a teeny bopper? But I really did not know this area and what to do since danger was a real possibility. The biker gang strolled on in and started to look around for some seats of their choice. The big one even glanced at our seats and sure enough took an interest in our spot and so came over! He was big as we had to look a long way up, and he looked quite intimidating. I noticed he was having a rather bad hair day.

He said with a sneer, “I believe you are in my seat.”

I acted surprised as coached and asked, “Who us?  Why do you say that?"

The dude put his hands on the table, leaned forward and looked me straight in the eyes, “Because I said so!"

Billy the cat was hissing and so must have had previous experience with these types of boneheads.  Now I was getting a little ticked about this whole thing, but knew best not to show it. Madonna grabbed my arm to urge me to move to another location, but at the same time Mama showed up since she heard their arrival.

“Look fellas, I do not want any trouble, or have you create a scene in my restaurant."

“Yeah, well, we are hungry and want some food, and so what are you going to do about it?"

“Okay, fine, but tell you what.  I have two picnic tables out back and it’s a nice warm beautiful day. You will be able to do what you want out there and I will bring out the food of your choice. How’s that? Then my customers will not be disturbed and will be able to continue on with their meal.”

The big one looks at his buddies, looks out across the restaurant at the other customers gawking at them, nods his head slowly in approval.

“Alright Mama, you got yourself a deal.”

They were expected to go out the front to walk around to the back as this was the route suggested by Mama with the use of her hands when talking.  However, they went instead through her kitchen to peek at her work area and imprint their boots on her clean floor and then went out the back door. At least they were not in the restaurant anymore! Now Madonna was able to start coaching me on what to do next. She whipped out of her little purse hanging around her neck a long and razor-sharp tack, then she took a little bag of sugar from the condiments available on the table.

“Now once you are finished eating, take that wet rag on the counter to wipe down the seats of your car the best you can and to get rid of that smouldering joint. Next, take this tack and jam it hard into the tread of his bike closest to your car, cover the tack head with some of my gum here to camouflage it.  When the sun hardens the gum, this will help slow the air leak so he will not get a flat tire until out of here! Open up the gas cap next and dump this sugar into the tank. Now the bikers came from the east and are heading west…you are heading east!  He will not be able to find you ever again.”

I thought about her plan as she stared at me with her protruding big eyes. I really could not think of anything else to do in this situation! Could I get away with this? Will that work by putting bubble gum on a tire? How was she able to come up with this plan? She must have previous experience doing this! What else does she have in her purse? I decided I could not eat anymore and so placed some money on the table to cover cost with tip. I decided I was done, grabbed the wash cloth with the tack, gum wrapped in the napkin, and the sugar bag, then gently, temporarily, and warmly held one of Madonna’s hands in appreciation, then went outside! 

I was in a bit of a daze, man on a mission, then thought what am I doing out here but it all quickly came back. I was able to mop down the seats quite well but I could see some wet spots on the floor rug. Not that big of a deal I thought as I got most of it and figured I could shampoo that later. I took the tack and was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to jam it into the tire and I even heard a slight hissing sound of escaping air to begin with and so knew it was working. I took a chunk of the gum as instructed and placed over the tack head to camouflage it so the dude should not be so suspicious if he noticed. Well, so far so good.  I looked around and could not see any gang members and so went after the gas cap next. I screwed it off, then ripped the top of the sugar bag off… and then I had this horrible feeling of danger come over me. I looked up and saw walking around the corner of the Diner, the big one… and he was walking back to his bike! 

So here I was holding this bag of sugar and then having this bimbo stomping along in his leather boots glaring at me with a rather angry look on his face! Now what would you do in this situation? My problem with my analytical mind is I think too much figuring out what to do next and so needed some time to process.  I could not believe a little girl named Madonna convinced me to take that gas cap off to dump some sugar in the tank if there was any chance that he could see what I was doing! What was I going to say if he lets me talk? What is he going to do to me? While I was processing my next step, he was still coming over!

What happened after that is rather a blur of activity to say the least. Madonna came to my rescue and ran out to step in front of the dude and started screaming at him to back off as it was her idea! My little hero, bless her! The dude brushed her aside with his paw and she went flying and smacked into a street light pole and then landed on a cement curb with some rocks. Now I bet that hurt, giving her a few scrapes and bruises! I did not have time to come to her rescue as she was now behind the big one.

I needed a weapon to defend myself. I finally chose to bolt and as I was running off with him in pursuit closely behind, I chose to grab a window washer brush by the service station immersed in a pail of water! Now do you really think that a window washer brush made out of plastic is actually going to protect me from that monster? What else was there? Other action happening is that Mama saw Madonna panicking and running out, could see I was in big trouble, and so she grabbed her heavy cast iron pan dripping with grease and headed out. She witnessed Madonna getting knocked over which caused her to become a raging bull and to steam ahead at full speed!

The monster caught me before I could hit him with that plastic brush, grabbed me by my neck with one hand and slammed me against a concrete pillar! Ouch, that hurt a lot! Holding me in place with one hand, he chose to scrunch his other hand into a fist, spat on it so he could make a loud smacking noise when he smashes in my face, and had his arm cocked and ready to fire!

But that was not all that was happening, for you see a State trooper had just pulled up to the service station to get some gas. Mama had caught up to us and held her pan high in the air ready to come down on the dude’s head and then everybody froze in that position! The trooper was getting out of his car and asked with an astonished look:

“What the…?  What is going on here?”

With me still pinned at the pillar and with the big one’s fist still ready to strike, the dude started to smile a bit and even said a little "hee-hee". His fist started to unwind, his arm came down to his side, his grab of my neck started to relax until he was able to let me go. Mama chose to bring her skillet down to her side. It was at this time that the trooper saw a whole gang of bikers coming around the side of the Diner since they heard some troubling sounds. 

I was told before that when an American is often experiencing fear, it’s time to pull out a gun to take control of the situation.  A State trooper is no different and so he quickly pulled out his shooter to give him more voice of authority. I was wondering why Mama had not pulled out her own gun earlier as opposed to the skillet, as I am sure she has one herself, but maybe she did not have it handy and she needed to move quickly. It was at this time that I was able to glance back to see if Madonna had picked herself up from the rocks, but she was no longer there. I then saw her coming out of the Diner holding… Mama’s gun! Now the gun was rather heavy for her slim arms and this made her run towards us more difficult to control. She really did not have control and she had her fingers on the trigger! I reacted out of fear for what she would do. 

“Madonna dear, nooo! Put the gun down!”  

I thought Mama’s eyes were going to pop out of her head hearing this. and when she looked, she froze in fear, then pleaded, “Oh no, my lovely, what are you doing? Please don’t shoot! Please put the gun down, please!"

Madonna yelled with a whimper, yet with fire in her eyes,”He pushed me!”

I put my hand out and started towards her with convincing words, “Madonna, don’t you do anything you will regret later! Don’t forget your dreams! You told me you needed to be careful and now is not the time to react as that is exactly what you told me earlier! Now hand over the gun to your Grandma!” 

Madonna was impressed enough with my words; she knew that I cared and her trust in me showed. She stared at me for a moment, sighed and then handed the gun to her Grandma. 

“Are you my guardian angel or something?"

“No, not really, but I did think that you were mine!”

By this time the gang members had surrounded us. You might say things were just a little tense! Now it was time for some words of wisdom from the State trooper:

“I have no idea what all happened, or what for sure is happening here. All I know is that I pressed my call button and backup is coming and they are all going to be here really soon with their own set of rifles and guns! I do not want this to escalate any further and become a real problem as I just want to get things resolved so we can all leave here peacefully!”

I did see the button on his uniform, but there was absolutely no way that the button was doing anything as this was only 1969 and bluetooth had not been invented yet! It was just a pretend button! But people with limited intelligence can listen to lies and believe them regardless of how many times they hear them from the same person, and so surely, they will believe the cop. I came in peace and so offered a solution, turning my head to the big one: 

“Now no one has been seriously hurt yet.  I wiped down my leather seats that you peed all over, no problem. You saw that I did not place any sugar in your gas tank.  So, let me put the cap back on, I will need to put gas in my car, and will then be on my way.” 

Then Mama built on my proposal, saying, “I can have your meals ready in ten minutes, boys, and so why not I place in brown bags so you can take them with you!"

“By the way Mama," I said, "That wet rag I used is by the front door and so you may want to run it through the laundry a few times, or better yet throw it out.”

Mama still had a horrified look on her face and was in a daze.

“Mama?  The wash cloth?"

“Oh yes, fine, sure, thanks.”

The State trooper liked what he was hearing and so said with a smile, “Okay, I will hang around here until everyone has what they need and watch you all go on your way! And I will call to cancel the backup as long as you all agree that we have things under control.”

The big one needed time to process, similar to last time. He looked around and stared at everyone, including his gang, then slowly nodded his head in approval and said, “Okay then, you got yourself a deal.”

I decided I best not go back to his Harley figuring they could take care of it. Madonna hopped into my car to check it out and go for a little ride as I backed it out to pull up to the service station. We continued with small friendly chatter as I gassed up and then paid the attendant what was due, with any change being handed over to Madonna for any future endeavour. She was not expecting a gift from me, money was so precious to her, and she had a warm smile of gratitude and a thank you. It was time to depart as I was in the driver’s seat with one arm resting on the door, one hand on the steering wheel, and one foot ready to press the gas pedal. I was at the same height as her who was standing by my door to give me her last goodbye.  

Madonna had a smile on her face as she stood there saying, “Now that tack is our little secret…"

“And I will look for you on TV when your dreams come true and you will make it big time."

“And when I am on stage, I will hear your voice, just like a prayer."

“And Lady Madonna, there will be no children around your feet anytime soon."

“Papa don’t preach.  I’m like a virgin.”

I have no idea what she meant by her last statement but I will give her the benefit of the doubt and remember her as I experienced, a loving and caring person.  She is perhaps sprinkled with naughtiness but willing to give of herself for the benefit of others, who knew what she wanted, and was now back on track to fulfill her dreams.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nbRoyJXSfQ

And the rest is history.