Who in their right mind would name their child Bartholomew? When the neighbor’s son chose to name him "Mister B" 30 years ago, the nickname stuck and all the younger generations grasped it based on everyone’s approval, for in its simplicity, it still showed respect. What more could Mister B want but respect at this time in his life? Well, to be remembered for all the right reasons, yes, and to love and be loved. For he had been humbled with age, big time, and gained dependency on the nurses to help him with some daily functions. Having a nickname like Mister B now sounds rather sublime and boring, no longer telling others who he was anymore and what he had done. He missed the days when he had the strength and nimbleness to journey to the four corners of the earth and experience what life had to offer.
He could never seem to get along with his wife and has been separated for the past 20 years. He ignored his family when they offered updates on her well being, too bitter to remember her better qualities, her whereabouts, and how she was managing. He wanted his independence and chose to strike out on his own. His heart was like an open highway, in that he wanted to give back to others for what he had learned based on his experiences. But as the years flew by, his body degraded to the point where his sons coaxed him to move into his final "holding tank", his jail from freedom, a nursing home in the city so they could keep tabs on him when they could, the last stop before moving on to his final resting place. Bartholomew does not like the hustle and bustle of the city, wishing he was back in his home town of yesteryear.
Just recently the doctors confirmed his worst fears in that his prostate cancer was not treatable as it had already spread and was within weeks of taking his life, if not days. He does not fear death, however, having reconciled his beliefs and understanding about life the best he could. He concluded he was a spiritual being and death will just be the next chapter of his existence, knowing not to get that tied up trying to make sense of religious doctrine that had been passed on from previous generations and based on his opinion was no longer applicable to the modern world. Rather, Mister B simply believes in the Divine, knows that the basics of life is centred around love, and that love is the truth.
Once the news about cancer had been registered in his mind, he was not as much into playing games in the lounge, listening to music, or watching the news on television with those of his age. He became no longer up to date with current events. The care centre wanted him to just relax and be comfortable in their facility, but that was not what he wanted. Not helping matters was that his joints and hunched back hurt with arthritis and therefore he became more determined to keep moving so he did not lose his mobility completely. Besides, it was autumn and his favorite time for experiencing the outdoors using his walker to shuffle across the driveway to the city sidewalk, continue 100 steps to the edge of the park, then get to that bench on a bridge that overlooked a little pond full of ducks, bugs, and frogs in amongst the weeping willow trees.
His preference was to be in quiet solitude and perhaps meditation, but given the opportunity he never shied away from being around those who were younger and naïve. He liked children and it just so miraculously happened that all the school kids used the park as a short cut to come and go. He was always willing to share words of wisdom to those still figuring things out. He found out that to cover off his liking for the present, he watches any activity happening around the pond as to flora or fauna, and greets kids, hopefully striking up a chat in the process.
The kids always saw him sitting there on the same corner of that bench and generally found him to be quite the likable old chap. No one was into teasing that much, but behind the scenes there were probably some ‘smart ass’ comments about his presence or appearance from the juvenile delinquents. Some of the kids knew him by name and so did their parents and Mister B was making an important difference and a positive influence in their lives. He should have been a counselor, a natural.
It was a beautiful morning, but with a mist to be cleared off and a chill in the air. The home care workers knew he was on his way out even though they knew it would be a struggle, but to just let him go since he got almost angry with them once, stating that it’s his life and he will do what he wants "his way". The cathedral church bells encased in the majestic steeples could be heard quite clearly in the distance for its count down of eight bongs. Bartholomew was quite timely getting to the park, only to see that there were three kids sitting on his bench! The kids knew his place in this world and quickly got up to stand by the railing so as not to disrupt his routine. Mister B was relieved to see the children clear the path to his "throne". He positioned his walker as normal on the right side of the bench, grabbed onto its side arm, lined himself up, and collapsed onto its seat.
Once settled, he could feel the warmth of the sun on his face to start the burn off of the morning mist. The glassy still water was getting gently disturbed in spots by the activity of bugs and ducks paddling around looking for their breakfast. This is the time that is most enjoyable to witness for the pond is waking up from its overnight slumber. It is also a time of the day when Mister B can relax. With no thoughts to stimulate his mind, it can also be a time when he becomes a bit dozy.
It does not take long for him to doze off with nothing on the go in his comfort. His head traditionally starts to fall off to the side, with his one arm pressed against the bench to become the head’s resting place. He had the look of being at peace, totally relaxed, but perhaps down and on his way out. For the younger crowd seeing him this way, he just may look to be dead, for how are they going to know for sure? They were not about to find out having not been around old people much. If they were to try to wake him up, it would be rather creepy if he were indeed dead, or if he came to life, he might be coming back from the dead! So, the school children passing by just left him as is.
But not for that dog named Jake who always comes to the park with his master for his morning walk. Jake has gotten to know Mister B from previous days as he likes to get the attention and a love pat and scratch behind his ears. Wagging his tail, the dog knows Mister B is still with us and so comes over to sniff his extended hand, give it a bit of a nudge and a lick, enough to allow the elderly statesman to perk up and spring back to an awakened state and give the dog some much needed attention.
“Good morning there, Jake. My what a good dog you are. It is so nice to see you!”
“Good morning sir," said the master, who does not stop to chat, but allows Jake to remain with Mister B for a precious second or two until the leash gets too tight, and then the time has come to move on. Bartholomew is now alert.
“Good morning, Mister B,” says Frankie, the lovely home care nurse on her way to work. His mood picks up as he is getting off to a good start with lots of greetings this morning!
“Are you going to bless me?” she asks with a smile.
“Bless you my Dear. May your day go well and I do not cause you any problems later.”
“You never cause me problems, sir. I am just happy to be around to help you out. I get worried though knowing the struggle you face to get out to the park each day. You know that the play school phoned asking you to be Santa Claus again. You really liked doing this in previous years.”
Mister B started to tear up over that idea.
“You know I can’t do that anymore as I do not have any stamina.”
“Maybe not, but at least they were thinking of you and giving you the option. Now your sweater is not buttoned right and so let me help get that straightened out so you will look more organized.”
Mister B’s eyesight is not the best closeup and the care workers have been instructed to make sure he is always presentable since he would be upset if he had not been properly dressed all day long, including his signature trait, a bow tie of all things, with a plaid shirt.
“Bless you my Dear. Mmmmm, is that a little perfume I smell? You must have a hot date later, eh."
“Only with you as we will need to change your dressing right after lunch and so make sure you do not wander off. Now you have given me two blessings already, so better save some for others who might need it.”
Once satisfied that he was back together, Frankie gave him a love tap on his nose as was customary for her departure, and off she went. He would love to have her attention all day, but he knew she had a lot of residents to see. She was his favorite and if only he could adopt her as his daughter, he would, since his own sons had little time and seemed to be more interested in his estate. That’s what a little care can do to an elderly statesman who was constantly striving to mend his heart from everything that did not go quite right in his life and how much more difficult it is now to fix.
All the little ducklings in the pond carried on looking for bugs in amongst the cattails, but fluttered off when a little boy threw a rock in their direction. Mister B could see it was Tommy, whom he was quite familiar with for he could get some conversation out of him. Tommy was always early for school and would wander off to get out of his broken home of despair. He was wearing his older brother’s jacket three sizes too big and never had a lunch as normal. He seemed a little feisty, for another rock hit the water with a splash. Then he picked up a big branch and was about to chuck that in the pond, but chose to look up first and noticed Mister B was all concerned and staring him down.
Tommy had the look of guilt for he had a hunch that the elderly statesman was not in favor of his action. He put the branch back where it was and came onto the bridge to sit down with him and look out across the water where peace and serenity returned after the ripples had dissipated. He felt comfortable with Mister B as he was not a threat but rather a buddy whom he could talk to. But he was not talking for the moment. Mister B reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a new granola bar.
“I stole this from our cafeteria. Save it and have it later for some energy.”
Tommy accepted without hesitation, but without a thank you. He was down and pouting, like any lad would be if annoyed. Mister B did not pressure him to speak, but tried to get him into the moment.
“You see that little duck over there. He should be in the cattails as there would be more bugs to eat. Maybe you are like that duck."
“I don’t care about some stupid duck."
“Well, I do, and I care about you, and so what do you care about, Tommy?"
“I don’t care about nothin’."
“Oh, I bet you do, and I am sure you have a lot to be thankful for. I know I am thankful that you are here for the moment talking to me! Now then, are you going to tell me what is bothering you, or am I to guess?"
“I wanted to play soccer with the guys yesterday after school and they would not let me, because I am black. Nobody wants to play with a black person."
“You are kidding me, right? I thought there was something wrong with my glasses as I find it a bit difficult to see you sometimes!”
Now Mr. B was not helping matters with his kidding.
“Anyways, I am happy that you are such a colorful character as you are adding some spice in my life. Now then, what are you going to do about this, or are you going to just mope around from here on and accept what happened? You could get your friends into a lot of trouble by telling your teacher!"
“There is nothin’ I can do, Mister B! I am not going to be a tattle tale! They would just come after me later and beat me up! I want them to be my friends as they can be nice and it would be cool to hang out with them."
“Hmmm, okay, I see, well, why don’t you do something nice for them and maybe they will change their mind?"
“That’s not going to help any ‘cause what could I possibly do?"
“Well, when things don’t go your way to begin with, Tommy, you know to never give up, never. Please promise me that whatever life throws at you, you will never give up. If you get knocked down, you will get up, brush yourself off, and keep going. Sometimes I admit you need to make your own breaks. Now I have gotten to know a lot of these kids that walk by here and most are good, but sometimes they can say things and not really mean it. What you need to do "fellow me lad", is to out think them. I know you are smart and you have a good head on your shoulders. I do know that if they see you moping around, then they know they got to you, but if they see that you are happy and nothing seems to be bothering you, then they will be curious as to why. Now let’s figure out what else you can do. Where did they get that soccer ball from?"
“I dunno, one of the guys brought it with them."
“Is it in good shape?"
“It’s just a ball."
“Do you have one?"
“No, Mister B! How could I have one? I have nothin’!"
“Okay, well, what kind of shape was the ball in?"
“Its just a dumb soccer ball."
“Is it well used and scruffy?”
Tommy shakes his head in agreement.
“Okay, by the way, are there any other kids in your school who are black?"
“Yeah, but they are girls and they don’t play soccer."
“Anyways, that should not matter, just curious. What if you had a really nice soccer ball, and they end up watching you play with it, like hitting the ball at a fence, then maybe some of your school mates will want to play with you?"
“But I have no money, and my Mom has to pay the rent when she works."
“What does your mother do for work?"
“I dunno, but sometimes she does not come home until the morning, then she goes to sleep."
“Does the school have soccer balls?"
“Yeah, but they do not let us use them after hours."
“Do those boys play soccer a lot?"
“Yeah, they are on a team. The guys think I am dumb and know nothin’."
“Okay, now I get it. Instead of you being black, I think it is more of a case that they have something and they think you have nothing, and they have learned how to make a few moves in soccer to look cool, and you have not had a chance to show them what you can do. If you were to go to a store to buy a soccer ball, where would you go?”
Tommy, shrugging his shoulders: “I dunno! I have no money!"
“Okay, now work with me a bit on this, please! Where is there a sporting goods store?"
“There is one just down the street over there."
“Do they sell soccer balls?"
“Mister B, they are a sporting goods store, duh! Of course, they do!”
Tommy’s big brown eyes roll around in their sockets. Mister B presses on.
“Have you been in the store and looked?”
Tommy stares off in the distance thinking about something else, maybe, or getting tired of their talking, and so hesitates in his response. He has calmed down a bit living in the moment. Mister B presses on.
“Tommy, have you been in the store and looked?"
Tommy sighs, then says: “They got a really nice one in the window as you walk by that has a professional logo on it and it sells for 50 bucks."
“Fifty bucks?! For a soccer ball?! Is it plated with gold or something? Good grief, that is expensive! It must be a really nice one!”
Mister B is impressed that the young lad noticed the ball in the window and so has come to the conclusion that he is really interested in soccer. Tommy just sits and is quiet as he has no place to go since the school will not open for another half hour. Besides, a duck comes over to their bench looking for scraps of food and now has his attention. Mister B pulls out some bread crumbs from his second shirt pocket to give to the duck, since both know this is a daily routine. Those brief moments in time allowed him the opportunity to think and strategize.
With his thoughts together, the old man pulls out a big huge wad of bills from his third pocket that contained a rolled-up bundle of cash like you would not believe, held together by a dirty old rubber band. Mister B rips from the bundle three twenties and hands over to Tommy. Tommy’s eyes grew as big as door knobs to the point where Bartholomew thought they were going to pop out of his head!
“Okay, ‘fellow me lad’, this is what you do. After school, go to that store and buy that soccer ball. I am giving you a bit more cash in case it costs a few dollars more. Just give me back any change you have left. Now don’t expect to get any money from me in the future as this is a once only. I think you really could use a break, finally, to have something good happen in your life."
“Ohhh, wwoowwww, thanks Mister B! You are the best!"
“Now listen. When you get that soccer ball, come back tomorrow and let’s figure out what we should do for the next step in order to get you playing soccer with the other fellas.”
Tommy is overwhelmed with gratitude, smiling from ear to ear, and is lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Now put that money in a safe pocket so you will have it still for later, and don’t tell your Mom yet. You may need to talk to your buddies about what they said and how it made you feel, but leave this for now until a time when they are more friendly towards you.”
Tommy puts the money away and is wound up with so much energy, anticipation, and excitement, and so he just accelerates so fast going away that the old man could not move his eyes fast enough to see where he went! But he knows he will be back tomorrow and he will be waiting for him to see if he gets any change back for starters, then to see that shiny, new soccer ball.
“Hey, Mister B!”
Now what? Bartholomew turns his head back to find that a young teen aged lady named Gina, all dolled up with her ruby red lipstick, multi-colored hair, and then there is some chunk of metal in her nose, and a skimpy blue denim jacket on over tight black lululemon clothes that held firm to her scrawny body of skin and bones. Quite the sight! Kind of cute though with her eyes accented thanks to some mascara plastered on.
Gina comes over all friendly like and sits beside him for a little chat.
“Bless you my Dear, so lovely to see you again, but surely you must be freezing in that jacket as there is no padding on you whatsoever. Don’t you have anything warmer to put on? You do not want to catch a cold.”
Gina has her cigarette lit up and she takes a drag causing a cloud of smoke that causes Mister B to revisit what death will be like. Yet having it come from her, who is so vibrant and full of youth and life mixed in with her perfume splash, and a chained cross draped around her neck can cause a lot of confusion over where she is coming from.
“Oh, I am fine,” she says with a warm smile.
Mister B notices her body is trembling slightly, maybe because of the chill, or maybe she has a slight nervous condition causing the need for her to smoke. Again, he notices that she just has no meat on her bones! Mister B does not accept her answer and so pulls out from the pocket of his walker a soft felt, plaid blankie and places on her lap.
“Awww, now I look like a Granny”, she says with a smirk.
“Say, I could use a little cash right now, like $20 and was wondering whether you could lend me some?”
Mister B concluded she saw him with his bundle of dough.
“Cash? What do you need cash for?"
“Oh, I could use it to buy some stuff like a lunch and drink at noon."
“Then what is that sandwich and canteen in your school bag?"
“Its not going to taste that good. Do you want it? You can buy my lunch, how’s that?"
“Are you sure you do not want cash so you can buy some cigarettes?"
“Well, that would be good too. Surely you could spare me a little money. I am always quite nice to you, am I not? What are you going to use your money for when there is some nice person like me who could make good use of it?"
“There are a couple of problems with your idea. First of all, you had money to buy cigarettes, some makeup, fancy clothes, and so it is not a matter of your being poor. If you need some cash for basic needs, you just need to manage your money better. I will do you a favor by not giving you any so that you can learn how to be more self disciplined. Secondly you know nothing about that boy who I gave some money to and his situation. He cannot afford to buy anything, like cigarettes and fancy clothes, not even buy himself lunch."
“Oh, please?” She was pleading with a smile, but Mister B did not take her seriously.
“No."
“Awww."
“Gina my Dear, if you have no money now, what is it going to be like when you are graduated from high school next spring? What do you plan on doing?"
“Oh, I don’t know yet, probably just be a bar waitress and get some tip money. You told me to be just Gina, and that is what I will do.”
Mister B accepts her point for the moment, then glanced out to the edge of the pond.
“Will you pull that dandelion flower over there and give to me, please”. Pulling dandelions brings back memories for her and so she gladly accepts and brings it back.
“I used to pull dandelions for my grandfather, but he died when I was young and so did not get to spend much time with him.”
Mister B puts the dandelion under her chin during a special moment of attention and closeness.
“Omigosh, the bottom of your chin is yellow! You like mustard!”
“Oh, that’s bull shit!” They both had a little laugh.
Mister B starts to study her facial expression.
“I never noticed before, but you have the greenest eyes of anyone I have ever known, greener than the grass of Wyoming, that’s for sure. You should be an environmentalist.
“I take after my grandfather with my eyes and yes, he grew a garden, just like an environmentalist would."
“There is Gina who is lost and does not know what she wants out of life, then there is Gina who is made from love, has her own strengths to help identify who she is and what she is good and gifted at."
“I know. I have not found myself yet."
“That is fine, take your time, but now is the time to explore who you are. I believe in you and your potential. There is not much future if you go to the bars and continue smoking and God forbid get into drugs or something. You will age very quickly that way. There is a really good side of you that wants to emanate your better qualities. I know you care about others, that is obvious. How are you doing in school? Do you have any subjects that interest you, or you are good at?"
“Nah, not really. School is so hard as there is no time to do anything else but homework. It really sucks and so boring, just sitting there in my chair. My grades are not good enough to go to university and I have no interest anyways. I suppose I am fairly good at industrial arts. Yeah, I like doing that as I am doing something with my hands. Or working in a store selling clothes and stuff. I do want to travel and would really like to fly off somewhere.”
“Industrial Arts? Well, that is different. Sales, yes, I could see you do some of that as you can be charming and you would be quite good at it. Now both of those options sound more appealing than working in a bar and being around hungry and adventurous men, trying to make some tip money, unless you are going to use that cash to invest in your future. Traveling, yes, I can see that happening. Maybe you can be a flight attendant."
“Thanks Mister B, that’s an idea. I dunno, I actually am quite scared of what will happen when I am on my own as I may not know for sure exactly what I should do, and my Mom has her own problems and does not have any time for me."
“That’s perfectly fine, as it is early yet and you have your whole life ahead of you. You may not have it figured out once you graduate, but make sure what you do is constructive and allow you the opportunity to grow and be a better person."
“That’s the scary part, as I could end up doing something that I don’t like, and that could screw me big time for any future work."
“As long as you use your common sense, and if this helps, think of me and what I would want you to do. You cannot screw up that much as you will learn from your mistakes and you have time to get back on track. When I was your age, I had the same problem, as I did know what I wanted to do. Maybe you should go with your feelings because that often will be the best choice anyways. Why don’t you think about it some more and come back and see me later and we can talk about it.”
“Then I heard from my Mom that you have cancer…”
Mister B looked shocked, rather stunned and disturbed that she knew of his private condition. He paused before responding.
“How did your Mom know?"
“She knows someone who works in the care centre and word got out. Everyone is quite upset over it. She wanted me to know as she knows that I talk to you quite a bit and that you may not be here one day and she wants me to be nice to you. You know I was kidding about that money, right?”
Mister B nods his head, much relieved that she was indeed kidding, maybe, as she’s good at working on damage repair and "erasing her tracks".
“You may not be here tomorrow, then who would I talk to?”
“Maybe not, and if I am not here in person, I will still be with you always in spirit. If you are down and out, all you will have to do is talk to me and I will listen. You can count on that. And I want you to make the best of your life, make good use of your strengths, fall in love, get married, and have a family, and never forget who you are, because others may, and make sure you do things your way.
“Oh, Mister B, I will never forget about you, never.”
Gina glances at her Apple watch.
“Oh, shit! School is starting. I got to get going.”
She gives him a quick kiss on his forehead and runs off, dropping the blankie on his lap. Now Mister B was not expecting the sloppy kiss, and the question is whether she left any of her gooey red gunk on his forehead, as that would be cause of extensive teasing at lunch. He grabs his hanky from his fourth pocket to press hard and wipe where the damage was done, but there appears not to be anything that came off and so he should be good.
Now he had a lot of things to think about in the next few moments to go along with the smile on his face, for he had been blessed with quality time from Jake the dog, Tommy, and then Gina. If it was not for Jake, he would not have been awake for the others. If Tommy had not buzzed off when he did, he would not have had that talk with Gina. He remembered his earlier thoughts that he would just be a forgotten soul, but then he realized he would not be forgotten in the eyes of Tommy and Gina, as they will remember him as Mister B. He concluded he had an identity even in his remaining days and this morning was meant to happen to give him reassurance. Mister B was happy and satisfied, feeling blessed to have had his chat with those needing some encouragement.
************
It was lunchtime and the home care workers were busy rounding up the troops to give them a bite to eat.
“Mister B must be in the park still”, says Frankie to another worker.
“Come and I will show you where he hangs out,” she said as they headed out the door.
“He is so stubborn, not wanting to stop and rest, but to keep going as long as he can. He always needs to do things his own way. See, there he is, on that park bench, and look, he is all hunched over, and so must have fallen asleep. His medication does make him a bit sleepy.”
Once arrived on site, Frankie gently gives him a shake for his wake up, but no response. She tries again with no response and so becomes more desperate and determined.
“Hello! Mister B, quit playing games with me! Wake up! Quit scaring me!"
A repeat of the shake showed no life. A pause to absorb his lifeless body and then an astonished look of horror came across her face, causing Frankie to say with a whimper, then a roar:
“Mister B! … You better go back quickly and phone for an ambulance! He is in deep trouble! Really deep trouble! Oh My God, Mister B!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3V2cZFa9U
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived, a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
I saw it through, without exemption
I planned each chartered course
Each careful step along the by-way
And more, much more than this
I did it, my way
Yes, there were times
I'm sure you knew
When I bit off, more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all, and I stood tall
And did it my way
I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no not me
I did it my way
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows, I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes, it was my way
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQIHTe7cYCg
This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain’t going to be just a face in the crowd
You’re going to hear my voice
When I shout it out loud…
It’s my life
It's now or never
But I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just want to live when I’m alive
It’s my life
Yeah, this is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina, who never backed down
Tomorrow’s getting harder, make no mistake
Luck ain’t even lucky, got to make your own breaks
It's my life